4 In The Bed…
We’ve all been there. Clinging to the edges of our beds while the kids Lord it up, spread eagled, in the middle.
There were 4 in the bed
and the little one said
“Let’s all kick Mammy and Daddy
so they get fuck all sleep and their necks hurt”
We’re doing well these days to be fair. It’s rare that the kids will come in to our room anymore unless they’re not well.
I can remember a time when the Eldest was 2 and the Youngest was 6 months old and no-one seemed to want to sleep at all, ever, and we’d all have to watch Thomas the asshole Tank Engine at 4am and try not to cry from all the sleep deprivation.
I love getting cuddles of course. What Mammy doesn’t. In an ideal world they could sleep with me all they like if they snuggled in beside me and actually slept, silently, without moving their arms and legs all over the place and kicking the covers off. WHAT DO KIDS HAVE AGAINST DUVETS??
Even just one would have been manageable last night. Barely. Two doesn’t work. We changed to a King Size bed after the kids came along because the Double just didn’t cut the mustard, but even the King is no match for two wriggly boys and two parents who end up clinging onto the edge wondering if they’ll make it through the night without falling out.
The first one arrived in at 1.30am. Ideally I should have sent him back to bed but at that time of night who wants the hassle. I let him in, gave him a kiss and a cuddle and proceeded to go back to sleep. Until 2 seconds later when he apparently couldn’t bare the duvet any longer and kicked it off all three of us. I pulled them back up. He kicked them back off. Repeat x 3,957.
5am. In comes the second one. The first one was practically on top op the Hubby’s head over the other side so I let him in. He dutifully kicked the covers off and lay there wide awake staring at the ceiling. I tried to go back asleep but I kept opening one eye to see if he was going asleep. I had the fear. What if he didn’t go back asleep, and hit off the other one and woke him up and then we’d all be up at 5am and I’d want to cry!
He tossed and turned and at one point I was as close to the edge as I could get and the back of his head was all up in my face. I could hear a slap over the other side where the other one had just whipped his arm onto the Hubby’s face.
I considered going to one of their beds but the one that was awake would only have followed me. I considered carrying them back to bed but it was 5.30am at this point, way too risky!
I eventually succumbed to a shitty, edge clinging, head in face sleep. I’ve no idea if the Youngest went back to sleep. At 6.50am we were all woken up to the Eldest giving out to the him because he kept sniffing.
We all lay there until the alarm went off, two boys joking away full of beans and apparently well rested, and two parents with creaky necks, slap marks to the face, and groggy as hell.
They are NEVER sleeping in my bed again! I mean it this time…. really…..!