9 Questions You Will Always Get Asked During Pregnancy…

Be prepared. As soon as you announce you’re pregnant, you’re going to hear the same questions over and over again for the entire pregnancy. They don’t bother me in fairness, it’s just funny, but don’t touch my belly! Not unless you at least know me and you’ve asked first! WHAT IS THAT? 

Here’e a little preview of your life for 9 months: 

How far along are you? A fair question, but you’d be better off just hanging a sign around your neck with a countdown or stating your due date for the amount of times you’ll be asked this question. 

~ How are you feeling? I sort of take this as one of those polite questions were you just say “Yeh grand.” Surely no-one actually wants you to give a detailed answer? “Well Carol, I haven’t been sleeping, my back is killing me and the hemorrhoids are a b*st*rd.” 

~ Is this your first? No, my third but I am 100% going to go ahead and insinuate that you are telling me I look young here. That’s my interpretation anyway and I’m sticking to it!

~ Wow 3 kids, you’ll have your hands full, won’t you? Well yes. I don’t know what to tell you there. 

~ Do you know what you’re having? Seems to be more the norm now that parents find out the sex of the baby. I’ve had more surprised faces that I DON’T know. Call me old school. I like the mystery ’til the end.  

~ Are you hoping for a girl this time? Ugh. Uuuuuuuuugh. I don’t understand this question. I’ve got 2 sons. I’d be lucky to have a third and equally lucky to have a daughter. All you can do is go with the standard “Ah I don’t mind as long as it’s healthy” here. 

~ Will you have a natural delivery? How long is a piece of string? F*cked if I know what will happen. 

~ Will you breast or bottle feed?  Jeez, bit personal? Did you shave your armpits this morning? I’ll feed the baby one way or another don’t worry. 

And the Piéce de Résistance – 

~ Can I touch it? Usually as they are already touching it. I find this odd. Not so much with friends or family – although I’m talking close family and close friends, but complete strangers? A woman came up to me this week, arms outstretched, and went straight for the belly! God bless her she was lovely and all, but she dived straight in for a feel. What can you do?? Smile nervously, exchange a few pleasantries and hope it ends quickly and you get your personal space back. 

I’m 29 weeks now and getting ready for “Not long to go now” becoming a phrase I’ll hear 70 times a day. 

PS. If you’re a family member or friend reading this it’s only a bit of banter and I won’t actually hate you if you ask me a pregnancy related question or touch my bump!! Or will I… 😉