When Your Kids Think You Were Born In The Stone Age…

It’s my birthday tomorrow.  I consider myself young.. or at least I did until I talked to my kids this morning!  They were downstairs having brekkie and I was upstairs.  The 6 year old shouted up to me “Mammy? Were you born in the olden days?”  I said “No, not the olden days. I was born 34 years ago”  The 7 year old piped up “That’s the olden days Mammy.”  *Screw you* I said “Well, the olden days to me is when they didn’t have any electricity or anything.” Dug myself a hole there. I got bombarded with all sorts then from the two of them.  “WAS there electricity back then?” “Did […]

If You Said What You Were Thinking At Bedtime…

It’s 8pm.  They’ve been up since 6am.  You’ve had a nice day and all (well, sometimes) but, you know.. it’s bedtime.  Cereals are eaten. Teeth are brushed. Off you go. “Mammy will you read a story?” “Sure. Pick one.” Kids proceed to argue over which book to read.  “Can you just pick a f*cking book?”  They eventually pick one and I read it.  But there’s a question about something or a random statement about something unrelated every 2 pages.  “Kids, it’s late. I don’t particularly care that Mr. f*cking Tickles is sad because it’s the end of the day and he hasn’t tickled anyone yet. Can I just get to […]

When Your Kid Comes In At 3AM…

Generally at 6 and almost 8 my kids stay in their own beds now.  Sometimes I miss them coming in for snuggles, but then I remember nights like when there was 4 of us in the bed and I cop on.  Still though, the odd night they like to surprise us.  It was 3am last night when my bedroom door flung open and in a very dramatic fashion my 6 year old arrived into the room waving one arm high up in the air.  He looked like he’d just woken up and his little face was all scrunched up like he was about to burst into tears.  My 6 year old could […]

When Your Kids Give Formal Letters Of Apology…

  Not unusually, my kids started killing each other this afternoon.  From what I can gather it was something to do with one of them smacking the other one in the head with their water bottle. Who knows. We could blame the exhaustion of going back to school after Easter but then there’s always an excuse. Anyway.  As per usual, it went from a small argument to full on RAGING WAR in 2.5 seconds and I lost my rag.  TV was banned. They were both sent to their room.  Tears flowed. (From them!) Unsurprisingly they quickly teamed up together and ganged on me.  I was “so mean” to give out […]

The Tooth Fairy & Other Drama…

It’s been one of those weekends.  Well, weeks! I picked up a vomiting bug on Tuesday. That was fun. You can read about that here! The 7 year old then picked it up on Thursday.  On Saturday the 6 year old lost his first tooth. Being the Youngest I didn’t think I’d be all that phased, but I was.  On hearing that it fell out I shouted “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” a little too dramatically probably.  They all gave me funny looks and I tried to explain myself. He’s the BABY! He’s NOT SUPPOSED TO GROW UP! Waaaaaah!  Anyway, I got over it. I said to him “Are you all excited for the tooth […]

What It’s Like To Be Sick As A Parent…

So yesterday I was struck down with either a vomiting bug or food poisoning. Couldn’t tell you what it was.  It came out of nowhere, wreaked havoc and then left! I  collected the kids from school, got homework done and then literally spent the rest of the day hugging the toilet bowl.  I’m up there puking away in the en suite and of course the kids end up in there with me.  There’s me trying to reclaim some of my dignity while I sit on the en suite floor and the boys are asking me all sorts.  “Did you really get sick Mammy?” “Was it gross?”  “Can I see?” The 6 […]

Being Organised Is Pointless…

Parenting –  Be organised and leave the house in plenty of time for school.  Arrive at the school with time to spare. Park. Turn off the ignition. Take a moment to relax.  This is the point where one child will say “Oh. I was supposed to bring in my favourite book for World Book Day” Debate leaving it so he learns a lesson but let Parenting Guilt get the better of you.  Drive back home in full blown rant mode at your child about responsibility. Maybe throw in that it’s costing more petrol money driving back home and back to school again. Get home and send your child in for […]