When Your Kids Give Formal Letters Of Apology…

  Not unusually, my kids started killing each other this afternoon.  From what I can gather it was something to do with one of them smacking the other one in the head with their water bottle. Who knows. We could blame the exhaustion of going back to school after Easter but then there’s always an excuse. Anyway.  As per usual, it went from a small argument to full on RAGING WAR in 2.5 seconds and I lost my rag.  TV was banned. They were both sent to their room.  Tears flowed. (From them!) Unsurprisingly they quickly teamed up together and ganged on me.  I was “so mean” to give out […]

The Tooth Fairy & Other Drama…

It’s been one of those weekends.  Well, weeks! I picked up a vomiting bug on Tuesday. That was fun. You can read about that here! The 7 year old then picked it up on Thursday.  On Saturday the 6 year old lost his first tooth. Being the Youngest I didn’t think I’d be all that phased, but I was.  On hearing that it fell out I shouted “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” a little too dramatically probably.  They all gave me funny looks and I tried to explain myself. He’s the BABY! He’s NOT SUPPOSED TO GROW UP! Waaaaaah!  Anyway, I got over it. I said to him “Are you all excited for the tooth […]

What It’s Like To Be Sick As A Parent…

So yesterday I was struck down with either a vomiting bug or food poisoning. Couldn’t tell you what it was.  It came out of nowhere, wreaked havoc and then left! I  collected the kids from school, got homework done and then literally spent the rest of the day hugging the toilet bowl.  I’m up there puking away in the en suite and of course the kids end up in there with me.  There’s me trying to reclaim some of my dignity while I sit on the en suite floor and the boys are asking me all sorts.  “Did you really get sick Mammy?” “Was it gross?”  “Can I see?” The 6 […]

Being Organised Is Pointless…

Parenting –  Be organised and leave the house in plenty of time for school.  Arrive at the school with time to spare. Park. Turn off the ignition. Take a moment to relax.  This is the point where one child will say “Oh. I was supposed to bring in my favourite book for World Book Day” Debate leaving it so he learns a lesson but let Parenting Guilt get the better of you.  Drive back home in full blown rant mode at your child about responsibility. Maybe throw in that it’s costing more petrol money driving back home and back to school again. Get home and send your child in for […]

When Coughs Ruin Lives…

Confessions of an irish mammy coughs

Coughs.  They’re so f*cking annoying.  It’s the 5 year old’s turn to have one right now.  I got him some cough medicine over the weekend. He hates the taste of it and every spoonful he has to take gets more dramatic than the last.  He gags. Cries. Scrunches his face up in agony. Clutches his throat. Gasps for a drink of juice to take away the – apparently – painfully agonizing taste that is cough medicine.  It appears to be doing f*ck all too so that’s great.  Like most coughs, during the day it doesn’t appear to be too bad. Then the night comes. The dark hour. Last night was […]

Don’t Ask A 5 Year Old How Your Eyebrows Look…

So on Saturday we went out for dinner. You can read about how that generally goes down here – The 10 Steps Of Bringing Your Kids Out For Dinner. I’m one of the victims of my eyebrows being plucked to death back in the day.  10 years ago when we got married in Italy I was sent to a salon to get my eyebrows done. I knew by the length of time she was plucking them that there must be nothing f*cking left. And there wasn’t. She left me with two tiny lines over my eyes. They’ve never been the same since.  Anyway, I’m addicted to Gimme Brow. I use it every […]

The 10 Steps Of Bringing Your Kids Out For Dinner…

Step One: It’s the weekend. You’ve cooked your kids meals all week that you’ve mainly scraped into the bin. You confidently decide that going out for dinner today is a great idea.  Step Two: Declare to the family that you’re going to go out today for a nice family meal. Spend a stressful 45 minutes trying to get everyone ready and in to the car. Step Three: Spend the entire car ride saying “No” to the 57 times the kids say “Can we go to McDonalds for a happy meal?”  Step Four: Completely under estimate how busy all the restaurants are and ensure that by the time you find somewhere, […]