They’ve been up since 6am.
You’ve had a nice day and all (well, sometimes) but, you know.. it’s bedtime.
Cereals are eaten. Teeth are brushed. Off you go.
“Mammy will you read a story?”
“Sure. Pick one.”
Kids proceed to argue over which book to read.
“Can you just pick a f*cking book?”
They eventually pick one and I read it.
But there’s a question about something or a random statement about something unrelated every 2 pages.
“Kids, it’s late. I don’t particularly care that Mr. f*cking Tickles is sad because it’s the end of the day and he hasn’t tickled anyone yet. Can I just get to the end of this shit?”
The story ends. I turn off the light. I give kisses and say goodnight.
And I begin to exit the room.
“For f*ck sake.”
Enter random bizarre question here.
“We’ll talk about that tomorrow by which time I hope that you’ll have completely forgotten. Now will you go to f*cking sleep please?”
I say goodnight again and leave the room.
About 15 minutes later there’s a creak on the landing.
I go up to investigate and it’s one of them ‘just coming down to go to the toilet’.
“Mammy can I come down for a while?”
“Awww. Sorry honey but Mammy wants one f*cking hour of the day to herself and also I want to scoff those jellies that you’ve forgotten about. So no sweetheart. Now f*ck off back to bed.”
Sweet dreams. x